Distance

Distance is hard and sucks! For those of you that don't know I eat, breathe and sleep family! I've always been extremely close with my immediate family (Mama, Daddy and Sisters), but also with both the Bradshaw and Vick members that are my parents' immediate family. I talk to my Sisters daily via Facebook, text messages, emails or phone calls. I talk to both my parents several times a week. Family has always and will always be a big deal for me. So now that I have my own little family, I struggle with being four hours away from my parents. Let me just set the scene for you to give you a little background on my life. I grew up in Carrsville, VA, aka the bubble. I really feel like time stands still when you are there. It is a different world. And it was a great place to be raised because everyone knew everyone, both sets of grandparents were within a stone's throw of our house, I went to school with cousins and I got to see the mind set of closed minded individuals and I realized at a very young age that it was NOTHING I wanted my children to be raised in. My parents raised me to ask questions and to challenge authority (not to the point you get in trouble, but don't be afraid to ask someone a question because they rank above you whether it be a teacher, an older student or individual or a preacher). They also never restricted our living to the bubble, we were exposed to so much culture growing up. I took my first trip out of the country at 10 years old to visit family in Europe, we saw movies, went to concerts, saw musicals and went to tons of historical sites and museums. One of my Daddy's favorite things to say is "You never stop learning." And that is the truth. I crave to read and learn new things all the times, I think that is one of the reasons I love being a Mommy so much. Noah teaches us something new about himself daily. But this background that my parents instilled in me is reason numero uno that I cannot ever move back to Carrsville. Once you get out of the box, you can't be forced back in. I would give anything to have my Mama down the road to keep Noah for me whenever I needed. Or to be able to have Sunday Dinner (read: Lunch) with my family like we used to do with my Grandma and Pop Pop. The distance does allow us to have time to make our own routines and rituals just the three of us as our own family unit, but it still sucks. I had a wonderful relationship with my Grandma and Pop Pop growing up. And saw them on pretty much a daily basis. We would occasionally stay the night when my parents would go out of town or when my cousins were visiting, but it was never a big hurray! I wanted Noah to have this same relationship with my parents that I had with my Grandma and Pop Pop, but the distance prevents that from happening. But then I realize that distance doesn't prevent that bond from forming. I look at the different, but completely equally special relationships each of my out of state cousins had with my Grandma and Pop Pop and realize that is what Noah will get with my parents. Going to his Jo Jo and Pop Pop's to visit will be a special trip/occasion and it will be exciting for him. An experience that I never got to have since both sets of my grandparents were just around the corner. I got to live and see this excitement when my cousins would come for a visit and I think seeing that always allowed me to appreciate the extra time I got to spend with my Pop even more. I adored my Pop, probably because I saw so much of my Daddy in him. I think that is why I struggle so much with the distance is for my Daddy. He never got his little boy until now and I want him to soak in every ounce of time with him that he possibly can because you never know when someone important will just be taken from you. If you haven't notice it is a struggle to find the balance: between what I want, what is best for Noah, what is best for Matt and what is best for our little family of three. Obviously, I just got off on a tangent here, but the original intent of this post was to tell you a little about my cousin Gavin. We were born 20 days apart and have been as thick as thieves growing up ever since. I was feeling a little nostalgic and decided to put together a little montage of some of the amazing times we have shared together over our 29 years(vomit! I'm not liking this new age BTW):

Over the summer Gavin made a huge life decision that became a reality in November when he packed up his house and moved to Denmark to take a position at his company's HQ. Needless to say I took it pretty hard, but I tried not to show it to him because family is just as important to him. It was how we were raised. And if y'all recall I wasn't exactly in the best emotional state during that time, all my hormones were still trying to get themselves balanced back out :P When Gavin has a hard time with a situation he avoids it, saying goodbye is one of those situations. In true Gav fashion he avoided my texts and phone calls until it was really too late for me to attempt a trip down to Charlotte with my little hee haw gang to say goodbye. I think that is what hurt the most, not getting to talk to him in person or hug him goodbye. I did get to talk with him several times before he left, but I missed our traditional Christmas day phone call and getting to see him on his birthday or to even wish him a happy birthday. Well my birthday wish came true! He called me yesterday and we got to talk for a nice long while :) Now I just need to plan out our trip to Denmark so I can get in a face to face visit! :)