Predictions

Things I'm not looking forward to as a dad:

1) Changing diapers - not sure what it is.  The baby can spit up on me all day but the thought of what that baby's colon is going to produce gives me anxiety.

2) Loss of sleep - this may surprise people, but I am not a pleasant person when I don't get my 11 1/2 hours

3) Being forced to be friendly and/or tolerant of my kids' friends' parents - the older I get, the less and less I have use for new friends, especially forced ones with formalities and small talk and yes, I am a football fan, and oh, Peyton Manning?  Oh, you're a huge fan of him huh?  Well, that's great I'll just sit here and smile and nod my head and RESIST THE URGE TO TELL MY KID YOUR SON IS CARRYING A ZOMBIE VIRUS AND MUST BE AVOIDED

4) Once they get old enough to repeat things, no more Howard Stern, Dr. Dre or The Misfits for dad in the vehicle for a while.

5) Baby-proofing the house - I am guaranteed to destroy at least 40% of it, either accidentally or out of rage.

Things I am looking forward to as a dad:

1) Having the sudden innate ability to lift and/or fix anything.

2) The first few months when I can essentially use the baby as a comedy prop, especially in public.

3) Making sure they have good taste in music, movies and TV shows ("Time for another Looney Tunes marathon with dad!... what?  Dora the Explorer?  There's no such thing... well, your Spanish-speaking friends are little liars then!")

4) Baby Z's first trip to the zoo, beach, a baseball game, Disney World, etc.

5) Having another person in my house who will unconditionally love me and be excited every time they see me and always feeling the same way about them.  Until they turn 12 or so.  Then things might get tricky.